So little time, so many books to read...

Or, perhaps we don’t give enough time to reading the kinds of books that have the power to transform, inspire, and help us to change us for the better. At a very early age, my curiosity about how I could live a more ‘meaningful life’ was insatiable. And because I didn’t have the wherewithal to articulate my feelings, I’d say things like, ‘Why are we here?’, or, ‘Is this it?’ Most of my friends thought I was weird, to my relatives I could have been speaking a foreign language.

Fast-forward to my early thirties when my interest in self-development became heightened. Whilst attending a personal growth seminar, someone suggested I read “The Road Less Travelled.” This was my first foray into the world of reading books that have enabled me to experience my life through an alternative lens, I might add a lens with a far richer view-finder than I could have ever hoped for, or imagined.

When people I don’t know well ask me to recommend a book, I’m often reticent to do so. For me, it’s like recommending a piece of art, or a movie I enjoyed. I’m not entirely comfortable assuming that something that personally resonated with me will do so for someone else. And although I’ve read numerous personal development books, self-help books, books that tell a fictional story that turn out have life affirming parables, knowing which one might best suit another person just seems too assumptive.

In my attempt to share some of my reading with a wider audience, I’ve compiled a partial list of books that have contributed to my own development, and my desire for continued personal growth. You might notice the omission of “The Road Less Travelled” - It’s many years since I read this book, and I’m uncertain as to whether it will have the same relevance today as it had all those years ago. It’s probably time to read it again...

Here's my partial list:

One Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl: A remarkable true story of one man’s courage, emotional resilience and determination to survive.

Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers: This book has been in print for over twenty years, and it’s as relevant today as it was when first published.

Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell: This book gives credence to the power of intuition. Gladwell is a gifted writer, he grounds a subject that some in the business world consider to be a bit ‘flaky.’

The Power of Nice – How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, by Linda Kaplan & Robin Thaler: A great, short, easy-to-read book by two women who run one of the top advertising agencies in New York.

Nudge – Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness, by Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein: A book that anyone in business will find helpful and enlightening. It will change the way you think about you and the world in which you live.

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, by Robin Sharma: A story that helps us all better understand what’s important in our lives. Sharma tell his story with compassion and a deep knowledge of the human condition.

Loving What Is, by Byron Katie: A book by a writer whose life-changing event has touched the lives of many who’ve read her books.

A New World, by Eckhart Tolle: A book that asks us to question ourselves, and to reflect on whether we are living our best life.

On Writing, by Stephen King: If you enjoy writing, this is the book for you. And if you don’t write, you will be inspired by Mr. King’s extraordinary life story, his rise to fame and the unflinching support of his wife.

Flow – The classic work on how to achieve happiness, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: A book that helps us understand how each of us can be happy by following the simple, straightforward advice of the author.

Working with Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman: Goleman brought attention to the area of EQ about 18 years ago; he’s considered to be one of the experts in the field.

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New Year, New You!

First, I’d like to wish you a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

I’m really excited about my first workshop of 2011, which I’m running on January 19th. I’m equally excited about the line up of experts who will give this event a special energy, and add exceptional value to the day and to those attending. Over the years I’ve had the privilege of being invited to speak to large corporations about Personal Branding and on each occasion, all I’ve had to do is turn up. The venues were organised, the attendees invited, refreshments in place, materials printed, and the perfect room prepared for me to deliver my 75 minute keynote speech.

This time it’s different, and although I’m co-presenting with Jorgen Sundberg, there’s still a lot to do. Fortunately, Jorgen found the venue, which is a lovely boutique hotel in the West End, The Leonard. I’ve been there three times to check the room where the workshop will be held. The level of service and food, as far as I can tell is spot on. The hotel’s welcoming lounge has three log fires, big comfy sofas, and what one might describe as an eclectic array of mildly eccentric decor. Yet, everything is low-key and in very good taste, particularly the service, which I have found to be superb on each occasion.

This one-day workshop is titled, Personal Branding from the Inside Out. Apart from Jorgen and me, there are three special guest speakers attending. Nita Shah, a superb yoga teacher, who will explain the significant benefits of yoga as it relates to preventing and managing stress, being more energised and feeling physically more grounded. Bob Jacobs, founder of the Society of Complementary Medicine, who will explain how nutrition, lifestyle choices and diet affect our health. In addition, we have a mystery guest who is going to teach us how we can use our voice as a highly effective tool to convey greater ‘presence’.

For those who are not familiar with Jorgen, he’s the founder of Personal Branding UK, a top-notch Social Media company. What Jorgen doesn’t know about Social Media, really isn’t worth knowing. And for those of you who are not familiar with what I do, I help people to develop an authentic Personal Brand, a brand that represents their values, beliefs and what they stand for. My focus is on what I describe as our Inner Brand and our Outer Brand. When these two elements are both congruent and authentic, we stand out in the crowd in exactly the right way.

So, if you are a participant, this is your day, a day to rejuvenate, increase your energy, feel good about you and have some fun.

For further information, please contact me at: malcolm@malcolmlevene.com. Or feel free to phone me on: 07962 157977.

'Tis The Season … For Giving… And Forgiving

In the spirit of giving, this Christmas I’ve made a donation to DEC Pakistan Floods Appeal: http://www.dec.org.uk/

I wish you all a peaceful, happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Best wishes,

Malcolm

When More Just isn't Enough...

This blog was inspired by Steve Trister. When Steve and I met at a networking event we chatted about the numerous so-called Personal Development experts out there. You know, someone who tells you that if you follow their programme you’ll be able to have a millionaire lifestyle, buy your very own island, in short, have it all. Steve and I deduced that not everyone wants it all. And for some, 'having it all’ is just being happy with what they do have. I’m reminded of a chap I was coaching many years ago who’s ambition was to marry his childhood sweet heart, manage the small bank in his local village and buy a cottage within walking distance of the village. At the time I thought, ‘Is that really all he wants?’ Today that sounds kind of wonderful.

It’s as if we’ve all been brainwashed into believing that more is better and that more will make us happier. Clearly the last three years have shown us that more is actually less. Research undertaken by Gallup, showed that “Once you get above a basic sustenance level – on average, people in rich countries don’t report being all that much happier than people in lower-income countries”. Furthermore, Gallup researchers found that happiness levels “plateaued when people reached an annual salary of £50,000 or $75.000”.

What does that tell us about the state of the nation, or, indeed our state of mind? It tells us that if we don’t hanker after the latest must-have gadgets, the most up-to-date TV, a state of the art mobile phone, or high fashion clothing items or accessories, we’ll feel less worthy. Moreover, we’ll think we’re missing out. We’ve become overly concerned about what others will think of us if we’re not decked out with the latest accoutrements, those trappings that signal recognition of wealth, or how cool someone is.

The onslaught from so-called gurus, who tell us we can have everything we’ve ever dreamed of, combined with the media bamboozling us into believing that what we have isn’t enough, and our ‘addiction’ to thinking that more will achieve more happiness, is just plain wrong. It’s as if we don’t know any more what it is that makes us truly happy because our minds are so full of thinking that more happiness will emerge if we just have more.

Perhaps our brains are so crowded with, ‘I’ll feel happier when I get that new car, new designer outfit, tummy tuck, Botox injections, or luxury vacation in the Maldives, we literally don’t have the space to experience what it is that truly makes us happy. It’s as if the place in our minds that could be at peace would be too quiet and we need the constant chatter in order to feel we are in the loop. Whenever I get the urge to want a bigger and better TV, another beautiful antique wrist watch, or unlimited access to whatever I want whenever I want it, I recall an exercise developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, Director of the University Of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Centre.

Here’s the exercise: Close your eyes, quiet your mind and relax your body, then think of five things that you are grateful for in your life. It’s not a cure- all, however, it’s enough to remind us that we are well off in ways that many others in other parts of the world, would consider to be luxurious.

Abraham Maslow's diagram above of the 'Hierachy of Needs' says it all, I think.

Turning Your Facets into Assets

As a Personal Branding coach, I come across a wide variety of men and women, each from different backgrounds, and varied professions. When I talk about ‘change’, particularly in the context of being more authentic, I often hear people say, “This is who I am, if I change, I won’t be authentic.” However, when I point out each of us is similar to a diamond, multi-faceted and unique, the conversation moves in a different direction. If we think of ourselves as a multi faceted diamond, and consider that some of our facets are due for a polish, we can access change for the better.

So many of us only show certain facets of our personality to the outside world. This could stem from self consciousness, conditioning, or because we’re just not prepared, or comfortable disclosing more than we think or feel is necessary. Often, this is an outcome of deciding to conform to cultural norms, peer pressure, or our business environment. In essence, I don’t ask people to change, as such - I suggest that they consider using various facets of their uniqueness to express their true authenticity. And by doing so, as if by osmosis, experience positive changes within themselves. Changes that will further support them to be true to who they are. In many ways, it’s about offering a more expansive and truer version of ourselves to the world.

So think not of changing, but spending some time acknowledging and embracing all of your facets - the whole you. And thereby, discover that by shifting from one facet to another, you’re not being inauthentic, in fact, quite the reverse, you are being more authentic. Treat this experience as an opportunity to reveal the jewel in your crown, and by so doing, giving yourself permission to ‘Show Up’.

The Intuitive Tailor

This blog was inspired by a friend who asked me to help him to purchase a suit. Clothes, fabric, style and design are attached to my DNA, so to speak. The kind of DNA I’m referring to is Design, Nuance and Attractiveness. These three characteristics are what make any clothing item truly desirable. In addition, they can affect how the wearer feels in an item of clothing.

When I was a lad I used to visit my father’s tailoring shop every Sunday, which was located smack in the middle of Brick Lane, east London. In those days the street was the epicentre of London Jewry. It was littered with kosher butchers, fabric emporiums, bakeries and a Yiddish theatre. Dad’s shop, Russell Sinclair, named after my middle name and his partner’s son’s middle name, struck a distinctive note where the shop front awnings were occupied by Rosenberg, Levy, Shmulovitch and Bernstein.

Dad instinctively knew how to design a pair of trousers that would look great and as importantly, felt great to wear. He intuitively knew how to cut a precise pattern for them and did so with flair and apparent ease. Many years ago I recall walking along Kings Road, Chelsea, wearing a pair of green gabardine bell bottoms my father made for me. Strangers approached me, asking where I had purchased my trousers. They were that good. Had it not been for the choice of fabric, the cut and fit, they would have been just another pair of ordinary trousers. Whenever I wore them I felt confident, stylish and as if I was just a little special. That’s how well designed clothes can make you feel. They can lift your spirits and buoy your self confidence.

Nuance is not something on which our current culture seems to focus, particularly when it comes to fashion and clothing design. However, nuance is critical in any design that is likely to have longevity, be that a building or a suit. One of the dictionary’s synonyms for nuance is “refinement”, a perfect description for the kind of attire I’m referring to. And when one wears clothes that are refined, that’s exactly how we feel - refined. Furthermore, when we act and communicate in a refined fashion, the combination of that inner and outer refinement is a winning formula; it also promotes feelings of greater self esteem.

In order for anything to have the word attractiveness attributed to it, it must have eye appeal which is produced primarily by visual stimuli. This is often prompted by a gut feeling - you see something and for reasons you can’t explain, you are drawn to it. On the day I helped my friend to buy a suit my eye was taken by a single sleeve that hung in the middle of about a dozen others. The way the fabric of the sleeve almost glistened, its iridescence, drew me to it. The sleeve draped softly the way quality fabrics tend to, that’s when I knew that my friend would look great in it and feel great wearing it. And as soon as he tried the jacket on and felt the soft fabric slip over his shoulders, he smiled. When he looked at the jacket in the mirror, his smile widened, he stood straighter, held his head higher and we both knew he’d found his suit. It was as if the DNA of the suit matched his DNA.
Here’s how you can find a good DNA match:

Design:

- Look for simplicity – less-is-more.

- Avoid additional ‘design features’, such as zips that don’t work or additional buttons that have no practical use.

- If you don’t feel you have an eye for clothes design, find something else that resonates with you visually and use those elements to inform your clothing choices.

Nuance:

- If any clothing item you try on says more about the clothing than about you, think again.

- If you decide to enlist the help of a Personal Shopper, be sure she or he feels, looks and sounds right for you.

- If the item looks as though it’s ‘of the moment’ or trendy, know that it won’t have longevity.

Attractiveness:

- If you feel as though you are more attractive when you try on a new clothing item, it’s an indication that you are making a good choice.

- When your eye is almost magnetically drawn to something, acknowledge that and investigate further.

- Be open to new visual experiences, which at first may seem different, yet are likely to widen your ideas about what you find visually attractive.

An Authentic Personal Brand

One of the dictionary’s definitions of authenticity is, “Undisputed Credibility”. How good would it be to be known as having undisputed credibility? Well, the good news is that each and every one of us has the wherewithal to achieve that. It’s both a choice and a journey.

Occasionally, when I’m running seminars and workshops, there’s a kind of glazed look that comes over certain members of the group when I mention authenticity. I think it’s because some individuals, particularly in the business world, have received so many mixed messages about authenticity and what it means. I hear people say, ‘Well, it’s me just being me, isn’t it?’ If only it were that simple.

If we use undisputed credibility as one of the outcomes of being authentic, I think you’ll agree, irrespective of who you are or what you do, being known as credible garners more trust and respect. Moreover, it’s how we learn to trust ourselves. Being someone who has a reputation for being credible is a testament like no other. Knowing we have this reputation helps us to feel more buoyed about ourselves, in fact, it ties into being authentic.

In order to be authentic, it’s important we acknowledge and honour parts of how we’ve developed over the years; both the positive and the negative. This acknowledgment helps us to recognise aspects of our behaviours and actions that we’d like to enhance, modify or change. If you think about people who strike you as being authentic, it’s likely their traits will be both admirable and inspirational. In essence, if we strive to be someone who’s considered admirable and inspirational, as if by osmosis, authenticity will likely follow.

A female client, who’s Personal Brand as a businessperson was considered friendly, helpful and credible, told me she berated one of her Managers publicly for not completing a task on time. This kind of behaviour was completely uncharacteristic for this woman. She said, “I gave him what for, that’s who I am, that was me being authentic.” I suggested that reputationally, that’s not how she’s perceived, and in my opinion, not who she is. I further suggested that her anger and frustration are what caused her to berate this person publicly. In essence, this behaviour wasn’t her being authentic it was who she became when her emotions took over.

There seems to be some discrepancy between emotion and passion. Passion, which is the way some people describe their emotional outbursts, is exclusive, all about you. However, when we convey passion, it’s inclusive, it’s all about us. You take people with you when you communicate passion; you leave people behind when you allow your emotions to run the show. Just being aware of this encourages us to be more of who we really are.

To develop and convey an authentic Personal Brand, just be the person you are the most proud of. And at times, when you are not being authentic, which is normal, take a step back, say or do something there and then that strikes a note of authenticity. It’s a perfect opportunity for you to ‘show up’.

Here are eight tips on how to have a more authentic Personal Brand:

1. Be conscious of how you’d like others to talk about you

2. Develop the ability to dissolve self consciousness

3. Be the you you’re most proud of

4. Admit your mistakes and learn from them

5. Say what you mean and mean what you say

6. Build a reputation that truly represents who you are

7. Notice times when you’re not being authentic

8. Trust your intuition as it relates to feeling authentic