'Life is Like a Box of Chocolates’
Forrest Gump

‘Selling your Service, Product or Idea is Like Serving a Three Course Meal’
Malcolm Levene



















Being highly tuned to other people’s behaviours, values and attitudes, puts us at a great advantage as it relates to engaging and building rapport with clients. One of my early coaching clients, the Head of Research for a prominent City bank, was having some challenges convincing his team and his boss to buy into a new strategy he thought would boost sales. When I discussed this with him, I became convinced his idea was sound and likely to pay off. So I asked him to role play the meetings that he’d had with his team and boss to help me to identify why they didn’t buy into his story.

After a few attempts, we got to the bottom of what he had done that prevented him nailing it. His opening pitch was rushed and not entirely clear. The nub of his presentation was good; however, he came across as dogmatic and a bit egotistic. The way he ended his presentation was abrupt and there seemed no room for debate. We worked on how he could set up another meeting that would be more likely to achieve the outcome he desired. I wanted him to keep the next presentation as simple as possible. Therefore, I developed a strategy that I felt would enable him to better sell his story to one and all.

As many of you will recognize, knowing something personal about your client is important. It's one of the best ways to bring about amenability. Now, I knew that my client was a foodie, so I suggested he treated his second pitch as one might a sumptuous meal. I asked him to visualize a tantalizing starter, something to awaken the taste buds, a delicious main course, a dish that would satisfy the most discerning epicurean, and a dessert that would leave everyone with a sweet after taste. Here are the ingredients of each course he served to this group:

Starter – Energy, enthusiasm, passion and positive body language. Appropriate breaks so that his guests had time to digest and savour his proposal. He added the right proportion of seasoning, like humour and personality, to pique the curiosity of everyone so that they’d become more alert to his pitch.

Main Course – A robust explanation as to why and how his idea would work, what was in it for the business and those present. He asked for feedback and made a point of acknowledging everyone’s point of view. He smiled lots, was open and receptive. He expressed a strong desire to engage and was able to build rapport, which made everyone feel included. He paid attention to anyone who left anything ‘on their plate’; ensuring that any doubts or uncertainties were addressed and dealt with. If anyone expressed a desire for a 'second helping', or wanted more, he took this to mean that everyone had enjoyed what they consumed.

Dessert – A sweet ending. Here, for some, is the favourite part of any meal or should I say deal. The main job here is to leave each guest buzzing, the kind of feeling you get after a sugary dessert. I don’t mean sugary as in false or too sweet. I’m referring to being left with feelings that are both upbeat and satisfying. This means ending on a high note. Something that leaves the guests wanting to come back for another 'meal' because one has provided a well prepared menu that was mouth wateringly delicious and presented with professional aplomb.

Coffee - In closing, he made sure he said something uplifting, so that everyone left feeling enthusiastic and optimistic.

Green Shoots or Grey Roots… It’s Your Choice…

I know which one I’d go for if I had the choice. Given the last two years of news, grey seems to be the colour and mood over Great Britain.















Personally, having passed the grey roots phase in that my hair is mostly grey, I’ve decided to focus on green shoots, and I might add, not only as far as the economy is concerned. It is said that, in part, worry causes us to go grey. That seems to be particularly true for those who are considered too young to have grey hair. I would imagine that over the last two years grey roots have increased exponentially across all age groups in the UK. In the worry department, it seems as though the media has had its way with us. Like the food labels that say ‘May contain nuts’ I think that every newspaper should add that to their front pages. I also think that TV and radio broadcasters that are responsible for communicating the news should post a 'May contain nuts' warning in advance of their newscasts.

I don’t know about you, but the mixed messages we're being bombarded with by the news media is driving me nuts. In fact, I think some of the editors who give the okay to broacasting and printing these mixed-messages are either nuts, or intent on driving us nuts. I recently read in a quality Sunday broadsheet that the housing market was improving significantly. As I turned the pages and reached the Business section, I read that house prices were still falling and had a long way to go. That’s just nuts. If I had any hair that wasn't grey, reading that and other gloomy reporting, might have just done the trick.

So, if you want to prevent grey roots sprouting, concentrate on the green shoots.



















This week's Telegraph announced: “The worst of the British recession could be over, the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) suggested yesterday, in its latest snapshot of the global economy.” That same newspaper leaked the MPs’ shenanigans over their expenses on a slow-drip daily basis. And while this news is enough to cause more grey roots, we really don’t need to spend as much time as the media insist we do focusing on it. Of course, the behaviour of these individuals erodes our confidence in politicians and makes us all very angry. What can we do about it? Not very much, except worry about our public officials, which is likely to cause even more grey roots to emerge. Stephen Fry told the BBC that the debate over MPs’ expenses is “not that important, it really isn’t.” Whilst, in part, I agree with Mr. Fry in that as a nation the challenges we are currently facing are far more serious than the MPs' mindless missteps, it is something that needs to fixed, now!

Back to more green shoots and less grey roots. The huge amount of print and news space the MPs’ disgraceful behaviour is taking up is diverting us from reading or listening to the good news or the kind of news that's likely to occupy our minds in a more helpful fashion. We have no direct control over the MPs’, nor do we have any control over what may or may not happen to them. Okay, we can all be furious, disappointed and frustrated about it; a lot of good that will do us. Or, we can ‘let that go’ and focus on those things upon which we can effect.

For instance, how we communicate with others will have an effect on our relationships, our businesses and indirectly the economy. Focusing on the positive is pivotal to the way we feel about life and ourselves, it also significantly affects our levels of confidence. And if the economic historians know what they are talking about, confidence is one of the key factors to economic recovery. So why don't we all work together to restore our confidence and remember we're in this together? And for those of you, who don't see it this way, remember, like it or not, we are in this together. As Tax payers, we have all become shareholders in the banks. Now that’s what I’d describe as being in it together.

Ask yourself what you can do to effect positive change in your life and in your business. Be focused on what you can do, rather than what you can't do. I attended a personal development seminar a few weeks ago. The one thing I was left with afer the event was focusing on what is working in my life, particularly when I feel as though I’ve been thrown a curve ball. When we focus on our good fortune, we become more optimistic, upbeat and as a bonus, people tend to enjoy our company more. What’s not to like about that? In addition, with the emergence of these good feelings we tend to feel more empowered and therefore become inspired to take positive actions. We think less and do more.

So, consider what is working for you in your life, that recognition alone will enable you to feel more optimistic. Then, use those good feelings to do something positive. Perhaps invite a junior member of your team to lunch. Send an email mail-out with some upbeat news. Choose not to complain about anything for one day. And on days you feel less happy, think of five things you are grateful for. These strategies and more for feeling better about ourselves and the world around us are tried and tested; they have been designed by eminent experts in the field of human behaviour and psychology. In my personal experience coaching men and women over the last seventeen years, these strategies have proved to be highly effective.

I do hope that green shoots begin to sprout up in your life. Please remember, if you sew the seeds and nurture their growth, green shoots will surely blossom into something that you and others will enjoy.

How Is Everyone Feeling?

I don’t know about you, but it does look as though there are very real green shoots appearing in the economy. Although it can depend on what we read, watch and listen to. For instance, yesterday, the FT reported that the CBI announced that the “Worst of the Recession is Over.” I have to admit that reading that made me feel optimistic. In the evening I watched the Channel 4 News, all of which was bad, ranging from the economy to local and global news. Not the kind of media coverage that would give rise to feelings of optimism and hope.

Our feelings are often determined by our thoughts. Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but only thinking makes it so.” Our thinking is influenced by what we read, see and hear. So keeping a watchful eye on these sensory experiences enables us to be more alert to what pleases us and what displeases us. Moreover, how it affects our attitudes, levels of confidence and moods.

Earlier this year, one of my clients was having a challenge around feeling upbeat about his business. This was partly because of the extreme negativity from the media. I asked my client to tell me about his reading habits. He told me that he read The Times on the way to work and on his way home from work. He added that he reads the sports pagers first and the business pages last. I asked how he felt after reading the sports pages. He said, with a smile, “Very good.” I asked how he felt after reading the business news and he said, “Terrible.” He now reads the sports pages last. He told me that this new habit has helped him remain more optimistic.

Russell Crowe, who knows a thing or two about the media, said that journalists should write their stories with objectivity and deliver the information with the ‘truth of the moment.’ If only. We all know that the media is not bent on telling us the whole truth and nothing but the truth, that’s not exactly news. However, what might be news for some is how we are affected when we read the news. I took a media diet for about six months. I chose to only read, watch and listen to news that left me, at best, feeling optimistic or at least neutral. Having had a six month holiday from reading and listening to bad news, I feel stronger. I am now able to ‘bounce back’ relatively quickly to news that would otherwise have rendered me emotionally exhausted.

Here’s some good news…

“The UK economy appears to have escaped a recession, with many economists and business leaders now forecasting a spring recovery”. BBC NEWS

"Spring has brought with it tentative signs of an economic recovery, particularly in the retail and service side of the economy,” said Ian Fletcher, chief economist at the British Chamber of Commerce (BCC).

Feeling any better?

The Nice Blog

Being nice is in! That’s what I’m hearing in the business world. From prominent financial institutions to small to medium enterprises, the word is that being nice is the best way to achieve better client rapport, more buy-in from your team and generally speaking, it’ll help you to feel good, too. Interestingly enough, one of my clients is talking about introducing the Nice Awards into his company.

You may be asking: What’s this all about? In pure business terms, we tend to do more business with people we like, and likeability, for the most part, manifests itself as someone who’s nice. Nice is about being thoughtful, going the extra mile, being well-mannered, acting helpfully and smiling. Think of it, when you are around people who demonstrate those characteristics, don’t you feel more upbeat? For those of you who are distrustful of people who just seem too nice, I’m sure you know the difference between real and fake. And if you’re in any doubt, pay attention to the way you feel, not the way you think. Your intuition about someone is often all you need to make a decision about whether they are genuine or not.

I asked my client who is considering introducing the Nice Awards, if five stars for being Nice are best, how many he would give his employees? He said 4. I suggested that four stars are really good. He responded by saying that five is really good, and that anything less is not really acceptable. He added that ‘being nice is just common sense, isn’t it?’ Well, for some it is. However, in my experience a lot of people need to be taught that kind of common sense.

Have a Nice Day!

Finding Happiness

In the UK we prefer to use the word ‘wellbeing’ in exchange for ‘happiness.’ I think the reason we Brits are reluctant to use the “H” word is because it might sound too frivolous. However, this is now changing. In all the recent research I’ve undertaken and interviews I’ve conducted as it relates to what people really want in their lives, when it gets down to the nitty-gritty, happiness sits right at the top.

The LSE’s (London School of Economics) most attended classes are its happiness classes. The same can be said of Wellington College, Harvard University and Cambridge University, to name but a few. In fact, ‘a few’ is inaccurate; there are large numbers of schools, universities and government initiatives in the UK that have happiness/wellbeing projects in place. So now that happiness is out of the closet, how are we going to keep it that way?

It's become clear that real, sustainable happiness is a by-product of what we give, not what we receive. So to put that theory to the test, at the end of last year, I attempted to spend Christmas day volunteering at a charity. However, by the time I got round to contacting the various bodies, it was too late; all the spaces had been filled. There’s a saying - “A dog is not just for Christmas”… I decided I could offer my services after the holiday season.

I approached a mental health charity at the beginning of last month. It turns out that they were looking for someone to run a class on Personal Development. That seemed to be a good fit for me. So, last Thursday I facilitated the first of a 3-week course on Self Development for the charity. About ten ‘service users’, as they’re called, arrived at the Centre to attend the workshop. To be frank, before the event began, I was quite nervous. However, as soon as the first service user arrived, who was both communicative and articulate, I felt calm and happy to be there. At the end of the workshop I felt privileged and fulfilled.

For me, learning how to be happy continues to be a very personal journey. For some, it’s as if they were born happy and remain so throughout their lives. For others, it seems to be as normal as having a cup of tea. I’ve met people who don’t consider unhappiness as an option. Clearly, I don’t have the secret to happiness per se, in saying that, I am learning how to recognise it when it emerges. And being able to recognise what it is that makes me happy for long periods of time is the key to revealing the secret.

P.S - The following may encourage some of you to feel a little happier:

"Banking shares have enjoyed their best week for months. ...bail-out plans on both sides of the Atlantic will ease the current strains..." - The Guardian, Saturday 31 January.

Here’s the Good News for 2009…

Towards the end of 2008 I felt very strongly that 2009 would be a very good year. And in spite of the media onslaught of negativity, I’ve been able to remain optimistic. One thing that has enabled me to stay positive is my determination. In part, this has come about because I don’t trust the media and the way they tell ‘stories.’ We all know that good news doesn’t sell and that bad news does. Well, I for one am no longer buying that story. I’ve had enough. Anyway, how many times do we need to be reminded that we’re facing huge global challenges and living in a new financial climate?

So, as a riposte to the media, naysayers and the doom and gloom merchants, here’s some of the good news for 2009:

Housing – “Affordability will improve in 2009. Which is good news for first time buyers” – Fionnuala Earley, Chief Economist, Nationwide

The Footsie – “City analysts are predicting a healthy rally for shares in 2009…” – Kathryn Cooper, The Sunday Times

The Economy – “Even if the economy shrinks by 2 per cent next year, it will still be as big as it was at the beginning of 2007, and 25 per cent bigger than ten years ago” – Andrew Ellson, Personal Finance Editor, The Times, December 2008.

The good news is out there, we just have to find it. One of the reasons I’ve decided to make it my mission to find better and good news is because, like my clients, I want to feel happier. And we can achieve a state of happiness by being optimistic, imbuing a positive attitude and not giving in to the negativity that’s out there.

Researchers say, optimists do better at work, respond better to stress, suffer fewer depressive episodes and achieve more personal goals, than pessimists. I fully understand that this way of thinking might be a stretch for some. Think of it as learning how to ride a bike, cook or getting fit: practice, practice, practice. As Matthieu Ricard, who has been described as the happiest man in the world has said, “Genuine happiness is a skill it takes time to develop."

‘Tis the season … for giving…

In the spirit of giving, this Christmas, I’ve decided to make a donation to ZANE (Zimbabwe a National Emergency) http://www.zane.uk.com/ - I’m doing this instead of sending Christmas cards to friends, relatives and clients. Given the huge challenges that exist in Zimbabwe and around the globe, it feels like the right thing to do.

I wish you all a peaceful, happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Best wishes,

Malcolm