Here’s the Good News for 2009…
Towards the end of 2008 I felt very strongly that 2009 would be a very good year. And in spite of the media onslaught of negativity, I’ve been able to remain optimistic. One thing that has enabled me to stay positive is my determination. In part, this has come about because I don’t trust the media and the way they tell ‘stories.’ We all know that good news doesn’t sell and that bad news does. Well, I for one am no longer buying that story. I’ve had enough. Anyway, how many times do we need to be reminded that we’re facing huge global challenges and living in a new financial climate?
So, as a riposte to the media, naysayers and the doom and gloom merchants, here’s some of the good news for 2009:
Housing – “Affordability will improve in 2009. Which is good news for first time buyers” – Fionnuala Earley, Chief Economist, Nationwide
The Footsie – “City analysts are predicting a healthy rally for shares in 2009…” – Kathryn Cooper, The Sunday Times
The Economy – “Even if the economy shrinks by 2 per cent next year, it will still be as big as it was at the beginning of 2007, and 25 per cent bigger than ten years ago” – Andrew Ellson, Personal Finance Editor, The Times, December 2008.
The good news is out there, we just have to find it. One of the reasons I’ve decided to make it my mission to find better and good news is because, like my clients, I want to feel happier. And we can achieve a state of happiness by being optimistic, imbuing a positive attitude and not giving in to the negativity that’s out there.
Researchers say, optimists do better at work, respond better to stress, suffer fewer depressive episodes and achieve more personal goals, than pessimists. I fully understand that this way of thinking might be a stretch for some. Think of it as learning how to ride a bike, cook or getting fit: practice, practice, practice. As Matthieu Ricard, who has been described as the happiest man in the world has said, “Genuine happiness is a skill it takes time to develop."
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Thursday, 11 December 2008
‘Tis the season … for giving…
In the spirit of giving, this Christmas, I’ve decided to make a donation to ZANE (Zimbabwe a National Emergency) http://www.zane.uk.com/ - I’m doing this instead of sending Christmas cards to friends, relatives and clients. Given the huge challenges that exist in Zimbabwe and around the globe, it feels like the right thing to do.
I wish you all a peaceful, happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
In the spirit of giving, this Christmas, I’ve decided to make a donation to ZANE (Zimbabwe a National Emergency) http://www.zane.uk.com/ - I’m doing this instead of sending Christmas cards to friends, relatives and clients. Given the huge challenges that exist in Zimbabwe and around the globe, it feels like the right thing to do.
I wish you all a peaceful, happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
Best wishes,
Malcolm
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Confidence… It’s all in the mind
When referring to the current economic challenges, Niall Ferguson, the journalist and prolific author who specializes in financial and economic history tells us that “Fifty percent of the problem is confidence.” When I heard him say that on the BBC, I decided to further investigate by interviewing a couple of City Fund Managers and analysts. Each of the individuals I spoke to concurred with Mr. Ferguson’s take. In fact, some of them believe that it's much higher than 50%!
So, I thought to myself, if what Ferguson and other economic experts are saying about confidence is accurate, we can fix that… can’t we? A healthy self-confidence is pivotal when making any important decision. It enables us to be passionate, resolute and focused. So what happens when our confidence becomes weakened, or eroded? Or more importantly, what do we need to do when we’re able to recognise those debilitating feelings?
A lack of self-confidence is often brought on by unhelpful thoughts, thoughts that often are not verifiable. Contemporary psychologists call that kind of thinking, catastrophizing. So, if we can better manage our emotions, can we better manage ourselves in business? The answer is an unequivocal yes, of course we can. Daniel Goleman’s books on EQ (Emotional Intelligence) are perfect foils for those of you who are feeling a little less steady on your feet. Having used EQ in my personal life and my coaching practice since its inception about 20 years ago, I can attest to the positive effect it has on people. It teaches us how to manage our emotions, in effect, to transcend them. EQ is one of the most helpful ways we can prevent ourselves being at the mercy of those negative feelings.
As Steve Forbes, editor-in-chief of business magazine Forbes and former U.S Presidential candidate said in a recent BBC interview - “Emotion is your enemy.”
When referring to the current economic challenges, Niall Ferguson, the journalist and prolific author who specializes in financial and economic history tells us that “Fifty percent of the problem is confidence.” When I heard him say that on the BBC, I decided to further investigate by interviewing a couple of City Fund Managers and analysts. Each of the individuals I spoke to concurred with Mr. Ferguson’s take. In fact, some of them believe that it's much higher than 50%!
So, I thought to myself, if what Ferguson and other economic experts are saying about confidence is accurate, we can fix that… can’t we? A healthy self-confidence is pivotal when making any important decision. It enables us to be passionate, resolute and focused. So what happens when our confidence becomes weakened, or eroded? Or more importantly, what do we need to do when we’re able to recognise those debilitating feelings?
A lack of self-confidence is often brought on by unhelpful thoughts, thoughts that often are not verifiable. Contemporary psychologists call that kind of thinking, catastrophizing. So, if we can better manage our emotions, can we better manage ourselves in business? The answer is an unequivocal yes, of course we can. Daniel Goleman’s books on EQ (Emotional Intelligence) are perfect foils for those of you who are feeling a little less steady on your feet. Having used EQ in my personal life and my coaching practice since its inception about 20 years ago, I can attest to the positive effect it has on people. It teaches us how to manage our emotions, in effect, to transcend them. EQ is one of the most helpful ways we can prevent ourselves being at the mercy of those negative feelings.
As Steve Forbes, editor-in-chief of business magazine Forbes and former U.S Presidential candidate said in a recent BBC interview - “Emotion is your enemy.”
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Whose Blog Is It Anyway?
Only after I completed the blog I was going to post next, did I realise that I wouldn’t be posting it. I must have read and re-read it a half a dozen times. My wife, Kate, read it at least three times; clearly this was a message to quit. However, I’m not a quitter, so I decided to write this instead:
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of doom and gloom from the media. Okay, I’m not suggesting that we should be in denial… fat chance. What I am saying is that we need to keep a healthy perspective, really. Ruby Wax told Andrew Marr on his BBC Sunday show that the terrible situation in Congo should be at the top of everyone’s minds, not the Ross, Brand BBC thingy. I agree with Ruby. However, I don’t know about you, but my mind is so full of information and to-do stuff that I don’t have enough space for much more. Particularly if it’s the kind of ‘more’ that I feel deserves thoughtful attention from me, which the Congo clearly does.
So, I’ve decided to give more attention to me! Yes, the person I usually put at the end of my to-do list. I figure that if I spend quality time keeping fit, healthy and positive, I’ll feel better about me. And if I feel good about me, I’ll be able to do my job better, and maybe take on more ‘stuff.’ That’s because my self esteem will become buoyed, and my outlook on life will be that much brighter. In short, my default will be to see the glass as half-full more of the time.
Remember this – you are your greatest asset, ensure that you invest… in you! When we begin to realise that, it gives us the opportunity take another look at how we treat ourselves. Treat yourself as you would someone you care about. In these challenging times, we’re all we’ve got. Take care of you so you can take care of those close to you. Consider it your responsibility to ensure you stay healthy emotionally and physically. Even if you go for a long walk three times a week, eat healthier food or send a small amount of money to help people in the Congo. In fact, that’s it – I’ll donate some money to the Congo… now that’s one thing less to do on my to-do list!
Only after I completed the blog I was going to post next, did I realise that I wouldn’t be posting it. I must have read and re-read it a half a dozen times. My wife, Kate, read it at least three times; clearly this was a message to quit. However, I’m not a quitter, so I decided to write this instead:
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of doom and gloom from the media. Okay, I’m not suggesting that we should be in denial… fat chance. What I am saying is that we need to keep a healthy perspective, really. Ruby Wax told Andrew Marr on his BBC Sunday show that the terrible situation in Congo should be at the top of everyone’s minds, not the Ross, Brand BBC thingy. I agree with Ruby. However, I don’t know about you, but my mind is so full of information and to-do stuff that I don’t have enough space for much more. Particularly if it’s the kind of ‘more’ that I feel deserves thoughtful attention from me, which the Congo clearly does.
So, I’ve decided to give more attention to me! Yes, the person I usually put at the end of my to-do list. I figure that if I spend quality time keeping fit, healthy and positive, I’ll feel better about me. And if I feel good about me, I’ll be able to do my job better, and maybe take on more ‘stuff.’ That’s because my self esteem will become buoyed, and my outlook on life will be that much brighter. In short, my default will be to see the glass as half-full more of the time.
Remember this – you are your greatest asset, ensure that you invest… in you! When we begin to realise that, it gives us the opportunity take another look at how we treat ourselves. Treat yourself as you would someone you care about. In these challenging times, we’re all we’ve got. Take care of you so you can take care of those close to you. Consider it your responsibility to ensure you stay healthy emotionally and physically. Even if you go for a long walk three times a week, eat healthier food or send a small amount of money to help people in the Congo. In fact, that’s it – I’ll donate some money to the Congo… now that’s one thing less to do on my to-do list!
Friday, 10 October 2008
Leadership Style…
You may be asking what style has to do with leadership. I asked Roger Mavity, CEO of Conran Holdings and co-author of Life’s a Pitch about the qualities and characteristics he thought were important in leaders. Amongst honesty, strategic thinking and being a good listener, Roger mentioned style. Here’s what he said about leaders with style: “They’re living a bit more than other people.” I agree, in that the leaders I’ve coached and interviewed who most impress me lead a richer life than others. It’s as if, irrespective of age, gender or experience, they have the kind of wisdom that commands attention and respect from those they encounter. In these challenging times, these are the kinds of leaders we need.
So, how would we know if a leader, which could mean you, your boss or our Prime Minister, is the kind of person I’m talking about? Here are 7 ways to find out:
- Business leaders need to be authentic if they want others to follow them.
- When business people talk about being a workaholic to impress us, they’re living a bit less.
- Awareness is one of the keys to being an effective leader: you need eyes in the back of your head.
- A passionate leader enables people to follow him or her. Not only can you hear passion, it’s something you can actually feel.
- Body language. Yes, we’re back to that topic… In short, keep it open, friendly and stand tall.
- In order to influence listeners, leaders must communicate with energy and enthusiasm.
- Leaders need to be courageous, pragmatic, positive, visionary and focused.
You may be asking what style has to do with leadership. I asked Roger Mavity, CEO of Conran Holdings and co-author of Life’s a Pitch about the qualities and characteristics he thought were important in leaders. Amongst honesty, strategic thinking and being a good listener, Roger mentioned style. Here’s what he said about leaders with style: “They’re living a bit more than other people.” I agree, in that the leaders I’ve coached and interviewed who most impress me lead a richer life than others. It’s as if, irrespective of age, gender or experience, they have the kind of wisdom that commands attention and respect from those they encounter. In these challenging times, these are the kinds of leaders we need.
So, how would we know if a leader, which could mean you, your boss or our Prime Minister, is the kind of person I’m talking about? Here are 7 ways to find out:
- Business leaders need to be authentic if they want others to follow them.
- When business people talk about being a workaholic to impress us, they’re living a bit less.
- Awareness is one of the keys to being an effective leader: you need eyes in the back of your head.
- A passionate leader enables people to follow him or her. Not only can you hear passion, it’s something you can actually feel.
- Body language. Yes, we’re back to that topic… In short, keep it open, friendly and stand tall.
- In order to influence listeners, leaders must communicate with energy and enthusiasm.
- Leaders need to be courageous, pragmatic, positive, visionary and focused.
Monday, 8 September 2008
Right Here, Right Now...
The life we have now, Is It: this is our one opportunity to get it right. And in order for us do this, we need to be reminded of how to live in the now. However, living in the present and not the future has become a bit of an anathema. Therefore, we need to learn how we can achieve a state that enables us to be grateful, kinder, more conscious and self-reflective. If we imbue these characteristics, we’ll be far more appreciative of what we actually have and less focused on what we don’t have or continue to crave. This is how we can begin to achieve a sense of well-being, or wholeness, something we all want. Dr. Robert Cialdini, bestselling author of Influence: Science and Practice says that one of the ways we can influence people is by being ‘nice.’ It’s interesting to note that David Cameron is now taking advice from Dr. Cialdini.
The Sunday Times Style magazine recently had an article in it called The Power of Now. Seven writers were asked if they’ve learned to appreciate the present. I was struck by one writer who said, “People realise experiences are remembered. What you hold in your heart is more powerful than what you hold in your hand.” The writer, Rosie Boycott said, “All we have is this moment: don’t throw it away, because it sure as hell isn’t coming back.”
Joe Pine, co-author of The Experience Economy, predicts that economy will be driven by transformation. “People will grow tired of fleeting experiences and search for more meaningful ones that transform us into better people – physically, spiritually, and psychologically.” Zoe Lazarus, the trend consultant who coined Generation Now, says: “Nowadays, things are outmoded almost before they have arrived. This collective myopia and speed of change affect what we value.” Generation Now, she says, is a rebellious countertrend to the fact that we should be slowing down and valuing things that take time.
I’d be very interested to know what you think about these views regarding the power of now, or should I say, weaning ourselves off of the addiction to having it all, now. Any and all comments are welcome.
The life we have now, Is It: this is our one opportunity to get it right. And in order for us do this, we need to be reminded of how to live in the now. However, living in the present and not the future has become a bit of an anathema. Therefore, we need to learn how we can achieve a state that enables us to be grateful, kinder, more conscious and self-reflective. If we imbue these characteristics, we’ll be far more appreciative of what we actually have and less focused on what we don’t have or continue to crave. This is how we can begin to achieve a sense of well-being, or wholeness, something we all want. Dr. Robert Cialdini, bestselling author of Influence: Science and Practice says that one of the ways we can influence people is by being ‘nice.’ It’s interesting to note that David Cameron is now taking advice from Dr. Cialdini.
The Sunday Times Style magazine recently had an article in it called The Power of Now. Seven writers were asked if they’ve learned to appreciate the present. I was struck by one writer who said, “People realise experiences are remembered. What you hold in your heart is more powerful than what you hold in your hand.” The writer, Rosie Boycott said, “All we have is this moment: don’t throw it away, because it sure as hell isn’t coming back.”
Joe Pine, co-author of The Experience Economy, predicts that economy will be driven by transformation. “People will grow tired of fleeting experiences and search for more meaningful ones that transform us into better people – physically, spiritually, and psychologically.” Zoe Lazarus, the trend consultant who coined Generation Now, says: “Nowadays, things are outmoded almost before they have arrived. This collective myopia and speed of change affect what we value.” Generation Now, she says, is a rebellious countertrend to the fact that we should be slowing down and valuing things that take time.
I’d be very interested to know what you think about these views regarding the power of now, or should I say, weaning ourselves off of the addiction to having it all, now. Any and all comments are welcome.
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
The Power of Empathy
When we truly empathise with someone, they feel and experience it in a very positive way. Empathy is an extremely powerful tool to use in order to connect with someone. When a person feels that we are genuinely empathising with them, they respond with more openness. They become more amenable. Furthermore, they begin to trust us. As you know, you can’t buy trust… however, with empathy you can enable it to emerge.
So, how does one do empathy? To start with, you make a conscious decision that you want to empathise. You might say, why would I want to do that? Well, maybe there’s someone in your life that’s aloof, or cold-acting. And for business reasons you believe having a better relationship with them is likely to be helpful to you. Empathy helps us to engage and build rapport with anyone. Maybe there's someone you know who's having a tough time at home. Taking the time to ask them how they are doing in a caring, genuinely interested way, will enable them to feel better. Empathy creates a win-win. We feel better about ourselves when we empathise, as does the person with whom we empathise.
Rather than set out the ‘steps to empathy’, I thought I’d talk about how it feels to be on the receiving end of empathy. For the most part it feels considerate, kind, thoughtful and generous. It’s as if the empathiser is thinking about us more than themselves. In addition, it feels as though they genuinely care about our well-being. Okay, you might say, I can’t do that with everyone. No, of course you can’t. What you can do is to start by choosing someone whom you feel might benefit from a dose of empathy. Perhaps somebody you know who's received some bad news and is feeling low and/or dejected.
The first thing to do is consider how you might feel if you were in their position.
Say for instance, someone you know has been told the job they were hankering after has been given to somebody else. And the reason they didn’t get the job was because they failed the final interview. And the reason they failed was because just before the interview, they received some very bad news about a close family member. This news, 'threw' them, therefore, they were not able to give their best shot at this crucial time. Now, put yourself in their place. What might you want to experience in terms of empathy from someone who knew the full story? Consider what you would like to hear them say, what you'd like to feel if you were in a position such as the interviewee mentioned. Write those words down, also, write down the feelings you'd like to accompany the words. Then, the next time somebody you think is worthy of empathy comes your way, remember those words and feelings and pass them on to that person.
When we truly empathise with someone, they feel and experience it in a very positive way. Empathy is an extremely powerful tool to use in order to connect with someone. When a person feels that we are genuinely empathising with them, they respond with more openness. They become more amenable. Furthermore, they begin to trust us. As you know, you can’t buy trust… however, with empathy you can enable it to emerge.
So, how does one do empathy? To start with, you make a conscious decision that you want to empathise. You might say, why would I want to do that? Well, maybe there’s someone in your life that’s aloof, or cold-acting. And for business reasons you believe having a better relationship with them is likely to be helpful to you. Empathy helps us to engage and build rapport with anyone. Maybe there's someone you know who's having a tough time at home. Taking the time to ask them how they are doing in a caring, genuinely interested way, will enable them to feel better. Empathy creates a win-win. We feel better about ourselves when we empathise, as does the person with whom we empathise.
Rather than set out the ‘steps to empathy’, I thought I’d talk about how it feels to be on the receiving end of empathy. For the most part it feels considerate, kind, thoughtful and generous. It’s as if the empathiser is thinking about us more than themselves. In addition, it feels as though they genuinely care about our well-being. Okay, you might say, I can’t do that with everyone. No, of course you can’t. What you can do is to start by choosing someone whom you feel might benefit from a dose of empathy. Perhaps somebody you know who's received some bad news and is feeling low and/or dejected.
The first thing to do is consider how you might feel if you were in their position.
Say for instance, someone you know has been told the job they were hankering after has been given to somebody else. And the reason they didn’t get the job was because they failed the final interview. And the reason they failed was because just before the interview, they received some very bad news about a close family member. This news, 'threw' them, therefore, they were not able to give their best shot at this crucial time. Now, put yourself in their place. What might you want to experience in terms of empathy from someone who knew the full story? Consider what you would like to hear them say, what you'd like to feel if you were in a position such as the interviewee mentioned. Write those words down, also, write down the feelings you'd like to accompany the words. Then, the next time somebody you think is worthy of empathy comes your way, remember those words and feelings and pass them on to that person.
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