WHY WE WEAR WHAT WE WEAR

Ever since I was a wee lad clothes have been an integral part of my life. When I was about five years old my parents bought me an exquisite military-style camel-hair overcoat. They made sure that it was matched perfectly with an over-sized Tam O' Shanter-styled cap. In addition, my shoes, haircut, scarf and socks were all carefully thought out for me. We lived in the heart of London's East End, so the locals, who were more used to admiring the attire of the Pearly Kings and Queens, must have thought me a sight for sore eyes as I promenaded like a very young Beau Brummell.

Those early days were to inform my life-long relationship with clothes, style, and image. I wasn't old enough to understand how all these seemingly small details, from socks to haircut, choice of fabrics, to the hue of a color, had been embedded within my subconscious. So choosing clothes for my wife, a client, or me became as much a science as it did an art. In my vast retail experience, I found that many businessmen would shy away from spending quality time on their appearance, specifically, their clothes. That kind of chap was my favorite type of customer. I knew how he felt. For a lot of men and women, their less-than-happy relationship with their appearance is often a symptom of conditioning, poor self-image or thinking they just don't have any taste.

We all have taste; it's an innate part of who we are. Often, it only emerges when we're helping somebody else choose a clothing item, or when we're selecting a decorative piece for our home. It's as if our "Style Gene" only kicks in when it's not about us personally. To develop taste and a "good eye" for what suits you, begin by focusing on the details. Start with the three F's as your guide: Feel. Fit. Flatter. You will be clearer about what to select and what to reject when it comes to choosing any form of apparel. Be super aware of purchasing clothing items that focus solely on fashion. "Fashion fades, only style remains the same" - Coco Chanel

By discovering your Personal Style, who you are on the inside will begin to reveal itself on the outside. There's a kind of completeness we experience when we feel good about the way we look. It's a great self esteem booster and a way of signaling to others that we have a healthy self-confidence and like who we are. Your Personal Style is a visual representation of your Inner and Outer Brands. It's something that will remain with you for a very long time. I think this quote says it all, "Style, neurologically, is the deepest part of one's being, and may be preserved almost to the last, even in dementia." - Oliver Saks

Here are a few pointers on how to develop your Personal Style:

- You're Unique -- don't try to be a copy of someone else

- Trust your instincts when it comes to making choices about where/how to shop, but do some research in advance

- Spend quality time developing your Personal Style -- this is mission You. So ensure you have the time and mental space to shop properly

- You have 10-seconds to make a positive impression -- make sure you look the part

- Choose colors that complement your personality, hair color, skin tone and existing wardrobe. A good way to do that is to have a wardrobe clear out, so you can see what you actually do wear, not what you have

- Someone who's able to convey great Personal Style does so with subtlety and grace

- Ensure all the details of how you attire yourself are in line with the three F's: Feel. Fit. Flatter

Give your Personal Style the kind of attention you would give to someone you love and is asking for your help

What Do Emma Thompson And My Late Grandmother Have In Common?

The answer to that question is authenticity and the courage to Live Out Loud

The first time I met Emma Thompson I was running my retail fashion business. Emma T. was everything you might imagine, especially if you are a fan, like me. And although she was attired in very ordinary clothes, mussed up hair, and wearing a pair of well-worn sneakers, she looked great. In fact, she came across as someone who is unquestionably authentic.

I recently had coffee with a successful businessperson who I’ve coached over the years. He said that individuals he’s met who convey authenticity, or to use his words, “people who are the real deal”, all have a common trait. He described it as ‘energy behind their eyes’. Emma Thompson has that special energy and so did my late grandmother. Another word that’s oft used to describe this kind of characteristic is charisma. It’s a quality that evokes feelings of well-being in others; a kind of magnetic draw, if you like.

Over the years, I’ve met numerous men and women who hail from a wide variety of arenas. They range from captains of industry, wealthy bankers, movie stars and world-class politicians. I don’t recall many of them having that energy that Grandma Goldman had, or that Emma Thompson has. I don’t believe that this special characteristic is something that’s conscious; rather, it comes from a healthy self belief and the desire to be Living Out Loud. Does anyone remember that movie? It starred Danny De Vito, Queen Latifah and Holly Hunter. We were living in L.A when it came out, and I recall being urged to see it by an L.A film reviewer. He thought the film was right up my street and he was right; I loved it. For me, it brought to life my belief that life is what you make it. And you can make it in any field of your dreams, if you really, really want to.

In many ways, Grandma Goldman lived out loud. She wore lovely 1940s colourfully-printed silk dresses. I remember the way the soft fabric swished against her hand- made black leather boot, for she was born with a clubfoot. Sparsely spaced, narrow upright metal struts surrounded the boot. And although the boot was well-worn, the leather and the struts glistened as she hopped from one side of the room to another. Her physical handicap never got in the way of her ability to convey energy, be curious, to cook wonderful food and dole out tough love, or what we kids described as "jamma" being in a bad mood. Grandma Goldman was the real deal; you knew exactly where you stood with her. And her unconditional love of us was ever present, no matter what. I still miss her today.

Emma Thompson lives out loud. This woman is an extraordinary actor, prolific writer, raises a family, has a social conscious and supports fourteen Charities and foundations that I’m aware of. And she does all this with grace, humility and without a trace of ego, and always with humour. When Kate and I wrote our first book, we sent the manuscript to Emma and asked for a quote. She responded with a hand written note, saying that because we cited her in our book, she didn’t think it would be appropriate. Of course, she was right. She also enclosed a photograph of her baby daughter, who she described as “baby Buddha” and commented very kindly about our manuscript.

We can all live out loud authentically. And here are some pointers on how to begin:

- Trade in self consciousness for courage

- Trust that what you value and hold dear is shared by others

- Learn to trust your intuition, it knows more than you think

- Know that you can have the life you want

- Be the you that you are most proud of - that’s the authentic you

- Be alert to the times when you are not being authentic

Read the ABC's of Personal Branding here

As some of you know, I firmly believe we all have an Inner Brand and an Outer Brand. In many ways, each of the two Napoleons above are examples of Inner and Outer Branding. The emperor Napoleon and his familiar pose is a good example of Outer Branding. And Napoleon Hill, one of the first personal development experts, is a good example of someone who was all about Innner Branding .

Please read my first blog on Personal Branding From The Inside Out for Huffington Post:

HELP! DO SELF-HELP BOOKS HELP?


I've been asked quite a bit which books have changed my life. Then, almost in the same breath, most of these people tell me they's just finished reading a book that changed their life. This made me feel weird because I'd read the same self-development books, and usually, these were the books I'd recommended to them.

I've read numerous books of that ilk and none of them have changed my life, not a bit! Moreover, some aspects of my life became worse! I later discovered that these were my 'No Pain, No Gain' moments. However, I was furious that I seemed to be left out of these positive life-changing events. What had I done wrong? What did I not get?

This frustration led me on a journey to taking personal responsibility for my life. I've always believed that there's much more to our lives than material, on-the-surface kinds of pleasures and experiences. In fact, when I was in my early twenties I asked friends questions like, "Why are we here?" and stuff like that. I was considered a bit odd. So much so, a couple of my friends un-friended me because they thought I was far too serious. I was.

If I reflect on my reading habits over the last 25 years, the books that have stayed with me and continue to inform my behaviours and attitudes are: The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl and more recently, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - this book really touched a nerve, as did Byron Katie's Loving What Is.

And if these writings and others have had any effect on my life, it would be this: When I picked up The Road Less Travelled all those years ago and read a few pages, I felt less alone. Being different, which is how I always felt and was referred to by family and friends, didn't feel so bad after all. These books and others became my friends.

It took me many years to figure out that when my sense of balance was shaken, which it seriously was, it was an opportunity for me to re-think my life. So I chose to continue reading so that I could continue to learn. And although I wasn't entirely aware that I was developing more consciouness by learning how to be courageous and more authentic, I clearly was.

To read the article I wrote about Tony Blair's Brand for Business and Politics, please click on the link: http://www.businessandpolitics.org/?p=1645

THE POWER OF ONE’S PERSONAL BRAND

Self Presentation - The 10 all-important components of how you ‘package’ your Brand -


1. Excellent grooming – what a person sees first…
2. Upbeat body language – standing tall…
3. Good eye contact – steady & ‘alive’...
4. Attire that is appropriate to the business culture and that says something personal about you – professional polish…
5. Smiling – it’s contagious…
6. A firm handshake – certainty… If it’s an interview situation, it sets the tone…
7. Excellent manners – always…
8. A healthy appearance – taking care of ourselves…
9. Communication in person, email or by phone that’s congruent – one message one communication style…
10.Being engaging – fake it to make it… Do it often enough and it’ll naturally imbed itself within your brand

Your Reputation - The 10 all-important components of your Brand Promise -

1. Energy – mental rehearsal…
2. Optimism – it’s a choice…
3. Passion & Enthusiasm – key to all in-person communication…
4. Reliability – not the same as consistency…
5. Empathy/E.Q – the psychological glue that creates meaningful relationships in business and in our personal lives…
6. Humility – ego-less – life is not about one-upmanship…
7. Humour – lighten up…
8. Listening skills – listen with all your heart…
9. Focus – one thing at a time done well…
10.Integrity – be known for this vital quality…

With these 20 attributes in place, your personal brand will be given a significant upgrade. Moreover, whether you’re a CEO, spouse, parent or entrepreneur, your value and collateral as a human being will increase exponentially. You’ll also be considered by others as being ‘authentic’. Moreover, some of you will discover who you really are; perhaps for the first time.