Friday, 9 November 2012
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Some of the individuals I coach, are daunted when I explain to them that when our ego is dissolved, we become an improved version of who we are. A gentleman banker I worked with recently, just couldn’t see the point of letting go of his ego. For him, the very thought was an anathema. It was as if he’d been conditioned to believe that he was the centre of the universe. Therefore, almost everything that happened to him mattered to everyone else.
It's only by attempting to develop a non-egotistic mind, that we can explore the great benefits that emerge from not just focusing on ourselves. I used to think that individuals who conveyed scoops of empathy and compassion, had what contemporary psychologists describe as a 'natural pattern': a talent that enables them to feel and communicates empathetically naturally. Lately, I've discovered that what seemingly comes natural, is a hard earned skill. In essence, when we are empathetic toward others, we are making a sacrifice. That's because we are giving our attention to another individual. It's like saying, his/her needs are greater than mine, therefore, here, I don't come first.
One of the big advantages of seeing life through the eyes of another, is that it diverts your attention away from the concerns you have that only relate to you, and are about you. The reason for this is because when we give our complete attention to someone else's life challenges, our own become less of a concern. In essence, that's how we can reduce catastrophizing less about our lot. Somehow, the more time we spend worrying about our concerns, no matter how small or large, they tend to expand exponentially. So, giving of yourself to another person and their needs, no matter what you are going through, is a positive strategy for reducing stress and worry.
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Your Personal Brand And Your Reputation
Each of us has a Personal Brand... In part, it’s to do with our reputation. To a degree, our reputation can rest upon what others, who think they know us, say about us. And in these somewhat volatile times, having a reputation we are proud of is something that has become pivotal. With a top-notch reputation we can win more business, stand taller, raise our self esteem, increase our confidence, and trust ourselves more.
To have a Personal Brand you are proud of, you’ll need to have specific qualities and characteristics in place. Although there’s no one-size-fits-all standard, there are certain aspects of our personality, when developed appropriately that aid our journey into being the best version of who we are. I’d like to share my heartfelt beliefs of some aspects of our personalities I consider to be highly important. First, we need to acknowledge the fact that we make a first impression within the first 10-seconds of meeting someone for the first time.
To ensure that the impression we make is the right one, we need to make sure our mind is free of negative thoughts. With this one quality in place we can convey an upbeat attitude. To dissolve negative thinking, we just need to breathe consciously, and when you feel comfortable, breathe more deeply inwardly and outwardly, slowly, three times. When we do this, we provide more oxygen to our brain; hence, giving ourselves an uplift in energy. Then, hold your head high; stand tall and observe how much better you feel. If you do this regularly it will become natural.
The other quality we need to convey is enthusiasm. Think about it, doesn’t it feel good to be in the company of people who are enthusiastic? We tend to mirror the behaviours of others, so each and every way we communicate is likely to be mirrored by them. Genuine enthusiasm is contagious, because it provokes good feelings and dissolves negativity, both within us and in others. To experience more enthusiasm, consider three things in your life you are most proud of. As Richard Bandler, the founder of NLP has said, “You get more of what you focus on”. So focus on all the good stuff you do, have done, and you are likely to get more of what you want.
It’s said that nice people don’t finish first, or can be trodden on, etc. Consider your intention and purpose. If your intention is to connect, and your purpose is to help others, being nice is vital. We do more business with the people we like. Being nice can be a discipline for some, an effort for others, and/or too much of a stretch. Irrespective of how easy or challenging being nice is for you, know that by going the extra mile and doing the right thing, even if nobody’s looking, will enable you to feel better about your life.
Being able to engage and build rapport is both rewarding personally and a wonderful quality to be able to convey. In essence, it’s to do with the desire to communicate with people in ways that are warm, personable and friendly. First, you’ll need to know how to ask ‘good questions’, questions that are personable, not personal. A good question is one that has a reigned in ego, and who’s primary intention is not about ‘what’s in it for me.’ It has to be a question that shows genuine interest, an ability to listen 100% and have a genuine desire to engage.
Friday, 12 August 2011
Before I decided to use this title for my blog, my mind was flitting back and forth, somewhere between ‘What do I want to write about?’ to ‘Nah, I’m not really in the mood to write about anything.’ Then, as I was making the bed, (one of my morning rituals) I thought, ‘Am I being who I’m meant to be?’ Having given the question some thought, I’m inclined to say, ‘maybe.’ However, my hope is that after I’ve written this blog, I’ll be closer to knowing... My other hope is, that you, the reader, will be closer to knowing who you are meant to be. Or perhaps be more inquisitive.
Over the last 25 years, much of my life has been spent in the self-development arena, which has included spirituality, psychology and the science behind happiness and well-being. I continue to read any book that’s likely to help me to help others, and by so doing, almost by osmosis, be of benefit to me too. In addition, I’ve picked up numerous tools, through attending seminars, workshops, and various one-one-one coaching and therapy sessions. I can say, through these numerous modalities, I do know myself better. Can I say that I now know who I am meant to be? Well, the honest answer continues to be maybe...
Like numerous people I continue to meet, work with and read about, my childhood was not exactly perfect by any means. And yes, like others, I like to think I’ve been able to move on. However, it would be churlish of me to just cast the experience aside, as you might a worn out dishcloth. Self refection is an essential part of being who we are meant to be. And the main reason for this is to know oneself better: Getting to grips with lingering emotional stuff that’s best left to the past; yet emerges when we least expect it to, is freeing. That’s because we can then give ourselves a break from conditioning, upbringing, history and perhaps some false beliefs.
We can only truly discover who we truly are by delving into who we want to be. And when we do this, initially, we must be prepared to experience more questions than answers. It’s the questions that will propel you toward becoming who you truly are. Think of yourself as an investigative reporter who’s been charged with discovering where the truth lies in a matter of human frailty and misunderstandings. This attitude will enable you to distance yourself emotionally from your feelings and fears. Discovering our true identity is as worthy as it is to discovering a new medical cure. It will change your life, as you now know it, forever. I know that some people have no desire to delve into their lives in the way I’m describing. When I hear that, I think about courage and curiosity.
Our courage, curiosity and desire to improve our life, needs to be ego-free and open to new thoughts. We will also be helped if we are prepared to take risks, make mistakes, experience change and welcome the newness that will come with these experiences. Getting to know who we really are is the one experience in our lives that is unique to us. And while we are in discovery-mode, as if by osmosis, a truer, more authentic version of the person we are meant to be emerges. So, if this is an area of your development you intend to explore, my advice is to be patient, self-caring, be brave and take risks. Know that you’ll make mistakes, and that they will guide you to being a version of you that you will find fulfilling, and will give you more purpose in your life.
Monday, 2 May 2011
I began by explaining that each of us has a Personal Brand. In essence, it’s what others say about us when we are not in the room – our reputation. And in order to be in more control of our reputation, largely, will depend on our attitude, behaviour and the way we communicate. In addition, our listening skills, ability to engage and build rapport are paramount.
By asking 'good questions', we are able to engage with greater expedience and to connect to others. By showing genuine interest in the other person, by default, we come across as more interesting. Generally, people love it when we remember something relevant about them, it often surprises them. And if this is in a business context, it doesn’t have to be about business! This is a delicate balance: not too personal, but always personable.
In order for our brand to have greater influence, particularly in these challenging times, people want us to be authentic. The word authenticity can mean many things, including ‘genuine’, or ‘real.’ The dictionary’s meaning I’m attaching to the word is undisputed credibility. And to be known as someone who has undisputed credibility; of course, you have to know your stuff.
We've all met people who are deeply experienced, and know their subject inside out. However, when it comes to communicating what they know to others, they often fall short. That's because to be able to communicate your experience and knowledge, entails courage, self belief and being true to who you are. Also, it's important that you firmly believe that your knowledge/experience is something that will benefit others.
Here, it helps to have emotional resilience - an ability to bounce back. This one characteristic sends a very posiitve message to one and all. As if by osmosis, it sows the seed of optimism, enthusiasm, passion and self-belief within us. And in many ways, when those qualities are in place, getting our message across becomes far easier. Moreover, we gain more meaning in our life, because we know we are bringing more meaning to the lives of others.
I do believe my workshops encourage, support and enable people to leave the event inspired and motivated to take actions that otherwise might not have occcurred to them. My next workshop is on June 28. If you would like more information, please contact me at: malcolm@malcolmlevene.com
Friday, 4 March 2011
The Personal Branding workshop was as inspiring for Jorgen and me as it was for the attendees who uniformly provided us with top-notch feedback. In addition to Jorgen, who spoke about Personal Branding as it relates to social media and I, who spoke about one’s Inner and Outer Brand, there were three experts, each of whom proved to be congruent with our overall message about Personal Branding.
For our next event on April 6, we've invited two speakers. Susan Heaton Wright is an accomplished voice-coach, whose approach aligns with the acclaimed voice coach and author of “Presence”, Patsy Rondenberg. In addition, Bob Jacobs, an alternative health practitioner who was voted by Tatler magazine as ‘One of Britain’s Top 250 Private Doctors’, will talk to us about how we can increase our energy levels by making better health choices.
Below are aspects of the last workshop that I hope you’ll find both interesting and helpful. At the beginning of the event, each of the attendees voiced their desired outcome for the day. They included:
- Life direction clarity
- A nudge in the right direction
- Understanding their own brand
- Understanding reputation
- Congruence
Each of these required outcomes are up to us to manifest in our lives. And as I mentioned on the day, being a positive role model, conveying an attitude that focuses on solutions, using humility and optimism, will, almost by osmosis, help one to achieve the outcomes above.
Also, appropriately placed and ‘well delivered’ humour, combined with excellent listening skills and empathy are key to gaining a stellar reputation. And when we combine these characteristics with knowing how to ask a ‘good’ question (a good question is one that shows interest in others) we are perceived as a positive role model - someone worth following.
I talked a little about intuition, or, as I refer to it, in-tuition. Over the years I’ve met, interviewed and coached many highly successful leaders, and they’ve all told me that they use their in-tuition when making decisions that for some, need more research, explanation or evidence. I’m not suggesting that one bases all decisions on gut feelings - I am saying acknowledge those feelings, and when they are strong, feel grounded and have a quiet certainty about them, take note.
Lastly, I’d like to touch upon letting go. In essence, letting go is a helpful strategy to advance career prospects, often in unexpected ways. That’s because when we are too attached to a specific outcome we prevent the possibility of a different outcome, one that is often better all round. In short, train yourself to be flexible and nimble. This is something that I firmly believe is worth considering.
Here's the information about our next workshop: http://ow.ly/48qHU