The Onederland Files

Do You Have The Courage To Be Who You Are Meant To Be?

Before I decided to use this title for my blog, my mind was flitting back and forth, somewhere between ‘What do I want to write about?’ to ‘Nah, I’m not really in the mood to write about anything.’ Then, as I was making the bed, (one of my morning rituals) I thought, ‘Am I being who I’m meant to be?’ Having given the question some thought, I’m inclined to say, ‘maybe.’ However, my hope is that after I’ve written this blog, I’ll be closer to knowing... My other hope is, that you, the reader, will be closer to knowing who you are meant to be. Or perhaps be more inquisitive.

Over the last 25 years, much of my life has been spent in the self-development arena, which has included spirituality, psychology and the science behind happiness and well-being. I continue to read any book that’s likely to help me to help others, and by so doing, almost by osmosis, be of benefit to me too. In addition, I’ve picked up numerous tools, through attending seminars, workshops, and various one-one-one coaching and therapy sessions. I can say, through these numerous modalities, I do know myself better. Can I say that I now know who I am meant to be? Well, the honest answer continues to be maybe...

Like numerous people I continue to meet, work with and read about, my childhood was not exactly perfect by any means. And yes, like others, I like to think I’ve been able to move on. However, it would be churlish of me to just cast the experience aside, as you might a worn out dishcloth. Self refection is an essential part of being who we are meant to be. And the main reason for this is to know oneself better: Getting to grips with lingering emotional stuff that’s best left to the past; yet emerges when we least expect it to, is freeing. That’s because we can then give ourselves a break from conditioning, upbringing, history and perhaps some false beliefs.

We can only truly discover who we truly are by delving into who we want to be. And when we do this, initially, we must be prepared to experience more questions than answers. It’s the questions that will propel you toward becoming who you truly are. Think of yourself as an investigative reporter who’s been charged with discovering where the truth lies in a matter of human frailty and misunderstandings. This attitude will enable you to distance yourself emotionally from your feelings and fears. Discovering our true identity is as worthy as it is to discovering a new medical cure. It will change your life, as you now know it, forever. I know that some people have no desire to delve into their lives in the way I’m describing. When I hear that, I think about courage and curiosity.

Our courage, curiosity and desire to improve our life, needs to be ego-free and open to new thoughts. We will also be helped if we are prepared to take risks, make mistakes, experience change and welcome the newness that will come with these experiences. Getting to know who we really are is the one experience in our lives that is unique to us. And while we are in discovery-mode, as if by osmosis, a truer, more authentic version of the person we are meant to be emerges. So, if this is an area of your development you intend to explore, my advice is to be patient, self-caring, be brave and take risks. Know that you’ll make mistakes, and that they will guide you to being a version of you that you will find fulfilling, and will give you more purpose in your life.